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Happy Thursday, OTI Team!
Apologies for the delay in actually sitting down and sharing some thoughts with you - we've all met ourselves coming back over these last couple of weeks so I thought I'd put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard) and write a post before I head to my second sober wedding!
When you read this I'll be half way down to the south coast in England for the Bank Holiday Weekend to see my lovely mum get married! To stay we're excited as a family is an understatement - it's going to be the first time we've all been together since the pandemic started.
The last time I was with all my family (I have 2 younger brothers) was in Ibiza exactly 3 years ago celebrating my brother's 40th. I spent the week waist deep in wine, vodka and sangria not knowing it was going to be one of the last occasions I actually drank booze.
That's a story for another blog post - I want to talk to you about weddings!
Let's rewind to October 2018 - around 6 weeks into my alcohol free journey. I've said it so many times and I stand by it today - there is no right time to stop drinking and take a decent break from alcohol. You will always have something in the diary. You will always find an excuse to drink. The right time is now. I had our son's 18th, my own birthday, my nephew's christening, a house party... and (OMG HOW WILL I COPE) a wedding!
When I first told my dear friend I wouldn't be drinking it was difficult. I got the inevitable 'no way'... 'absolutely not'... 'who even are you'... 'you can't' - and it was hard. I felt like a knob. I thought I was causing a problem. I felt like I'd be missing out. I wasn't sure I could do it. As I say on repeat like a stuck record, the only way to do this is to give it your all. If you say you're not drinking - you're not drinking. No half arsed measures, no compromise, no alcohol. It's actually really simple to make that decision. The hard slog comes after.
So I was firm, I explained I definitely wouldn't be drinking (despite having a mega wobble in my own head) and my fabulous friend then pulled out the stops to make sure I could navigate her celebrations without any stress - but most importantly enjoy the day and not simply survive it.
To this day it was one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done from me on my AF 'jouurrrneeeyyyyyy' and it meant the world particularly being in the early days.
The welcome drink at the ceremony was a mulled gin. She got me an AF version. There were cocktails on arrival at the reception. She made sure I had AF alternatives. There were even bottles of AF fizz behind the bar just for me. I was included from start to finish and it was nothing short of wonderful. They didn't take the p!ss, they didn't try to get me to drink - they just made sure I was part of their wonderful celebrations at every turn.
I sober danced. It was weirdly fun! I sober laughed. It was utterly glorious. I drove guests home and it felt good. I didn't lose the weekend to a near-death hangover and not a single second was wasted thinking about drinking, drinking and then recovering from drinking by drinking.
It was so memorable for all the right reasons. Note that word - MEMORABLE. Weddings should be memorable. They shouldn't be about getting arseholed, being loud, showing yourself up, crying for no reason, pissing people off, vomiting to make way for more booze, blacking out and making a grade 1 arse of yourself on the dancefloor. They're about celebration, connection, dancing, enjoying food, conversation, laughter and making the best memories with people who want you there because you're YOU. Not a Prize Drunken Dick that's peaked by 15:00 and crying on the lawn outside by 21:00.
This weekend will be my first sober mini break with my ridiculous and hilarious family. I already know it's going to be brilliant because I'm not drinking. I'm looking forward to NOT drinking. I'll enjoy breakfast sitting at a table with my family not missing it with my head over a toilet bowl wanting to die. I'll be reading a speech for my mum feeling nervous but confident and not slurring and missing the point. I'll be lolzzzzzzing the loudest all weekend because my brothers are total knobs and make me cry laughing.
And I'll be making my mum proud because she loves what I'm doing - so much so she's pretty much knocked booze on the head herself even though she was only ever a couple of G&Ts-at-the-weekend kind of drinker.
'Shaz, we've emailed the hotel and you'll be sorted for alcohol-free'.
I'll say it again - I'm looking forward to NOT drinking.
It can be impossible to look so far ahead and imagine the sober you, the you who choses NOT to drink and the you who never, ever wants to return to that Hideous Hamster Wheel of Hangover Hell.
Don't drink. Do something different. Don't be a dick.
It worked for me and it will work for you too.
Have an amazing AF weekend... catch up next week!
Love Shaz x
This is all simply wonderful, its so easy really to find the positives in NOT drinking, Memorable for the right reason is my takeaway from this post. Its so so true. The amount of effort and love that will go into this day deserves to me remembered and using it as an excuse to get totally shit faced really should not be an option - Have the most amazing weekend Shazza, be the lighthouse and show the way - You are an AF Superhero - Love this.
Omg so many times I peaked by 15:00 and was crying at 21:00….you bloody nailed it with this post. Who wants to waste a day like that ever again 🙈Have an amazing time Shazza good luck with the speech and give a massive hug to your gorgeous mum from me xxxxx
Could you BE any more FABULOUS, woman! 🤩
Great words, Shaz. I can imagine you laughing with your brothers. Have a wonderful wedding with your family. I think, it is important, that you are treated well at parties , weddings etc. , if you want to stay AF and offered AF versions of wine , sparkling wine an cocktails. For me , it feels much better than only having sparkling water or diet coke. But often there are no „ grown up“ AF versions available. So having friends and family, who organize AF drinks is wonderful. It is my day 39 today and I never want to go back, where I was. At the moment I can’t even imagine drinking A. Have a wonderful time with our family! X
Haha, loved reading this! So descriptive - a sober wedding just sounds like the BEST now!! Fantastic perspective, thank you. Have a fab time and congrats all round 😊